It's been such a travesty to lose him so suddenly. I don't know what to think. It's like a nightmare that you can't wake up from. It's something that doesn't feel real. Although his wake is tomorrow, I feel like I'm going to see him walk in, like if we were to walk into a wake of some distant deceased cousin. But it's his wake tomorrow, and his funeral the next day. It hurts so bad, and I just can't fathom how his children are feeling right now. It pains me so much.
I wish I could have another day to hear his crazy stories as a NYC bus driver and just his crazy life experiences being Donald.
I've been in such a daze. I distract myself with work, and graduations parties, and bike rides. I don't want this to be real.
But it is.
"How do you keep going when the worst thing has happened? What do you have to change inside to survive? Who do you have to become?" - Spencer from PLL.
On a more positive note,
I know he would have wanted us to be happy for him. I can see him with my grandparents drinking a beer (or even maybe a scotch on the rocks) and smoking a cigar. Even though we are so far apart right now, he will always be with us. Everywhere we are we will take him with us. We feel him all around us because he will be that spectacular warmth that we feel on a sunny day, and that beautiful diamond sparkle in the snow, and the peaceful sound of rain, and the gentle embrace of wind.
We will miss you, Uncle Donald.
And we will love you, always.